


10 Out of 10 Would Abuse Again.

by TheYear2008



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abuse, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Gay Male Character, Gay Sex, Happy Ending, Lots of problems, M/M, Omegaverse, Original Character(s), Scent Kink, Scent Marking, Scenting, Therapy, Triggers, Verbal Abuse, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-12
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2019-01-16 13:27:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,936
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12343593
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheYear2008/pseuds/TheYear2008
Summary: "Time and time again I find myself in this spot. On the floor again, anxiety rippling through my body as he screams at me, and I can't do anything but cower at his voice. I know he is mad, his tone changes when he is mad, but I can't remember what I've done to upset him. I've never been good enough for him, that's why he won't claim me as his own. He doesn't carry my scent with him everywhere he goes, he doesn't bare my mark on his neck, and he never takes me out in public with him. He says he loves me, but I'm not enough."All original content. All original characters. The title comes from something my ex told me.





	10 Out of 10 Would Abuse Again.

Time and time again I find myself in this spot. On the floor again, anxiety rippling through my body as he screams at me, and I can't do anything but cower at his voice. I know he is mad, his tone changes when he is mad, but I can't remember what I've done to upset him. I've never been good enough for him, that's why he won't claim me as his own. He doesn't carry my scent with him everywhere he goes, he doesn't bare my mark on his neck, and he never takes me out in public with him. He says he loves me, but I'm not enough.

Why? Why am I not good enough?  
_______________________

Something pulls me from my nightscare and I wake up to a horn honking outside my window. I drag my extra pillow up to my chest and beg myself to go back to sleep. Nightscares always make me more exhausted than before I went to sleep. I can't bring myself to get out of bed anymore than I could the past month, but I know in a few minutes Jamie will be upstairs, in my room, pulling me to the shower, and forcing me to clean myself up. 

The minutes seem to take just seconds, but I finally hear my bedroom door open behind me. "Come on, Sweets! You need to shower. Please get up for me." She whispers, speaking gently while she raises me up against her chest. I sit there for a moment breathing in her scent and calmly look into her eyes.

"If I get into the shower do you promise to cook for me?" I ask smiling softly. She has done so much for me and she knows I am trying, she never asks for too much, and hasn't given up on me. I owe her my life, this angel of mine. She has always been there for me, even after I didn't talk to her for months, she took me right back. We have been best friends since elementary and Jamie is still that same girl, however now she is more feisty.

"Deal. Now get up and shower Calvin. You stink!" She laughs and starts to leave the room. 

"Hey I don't stink! I just showered yesterday." I say back, but by now she is already gone and the words disappear into the air. While she is gone I do as she says and shower, when I am finished I dress quickly in just everyday clothes, and make my way down the hall to the kitchen.

"So what's the plan for today?" I ask as she brings me a bowl of oatmeal. Jamie knows, since we were young, that if she didn't keep a schedule for me I would never be on time for anything, plus it's practically wired into her brain to be the most organized person ever.

"Well we have your therapy at 11, lunch with your mother at noon, and then we are free." She answers and starts to eat her own breakfast. I nod along as she speaks and slowly finish my food. I can't eat much these days, but little things like this are easy to keep down, it also helps to have her here feeding me. The first week after she helped me get away from Anthony I couldn't keep anything down, but now I eat three meals a day, small of course, and a snack if I feel up to it.

We make it to therapy all in one piece, no thanks to her driving, and I am more than happy to get inside to Miss Donna. She is an unusual therapist, but she is the best in dealing with my kind of situation. Back before omegas had any rights she used to do business out of her own home, but that was a decade ago. Now Miss Donna has her own counseling center in the middle of town, and she doesn't turn any omegas away.

Before I even knock on her door she is calling me in. "I could smell your fear and excitement all the way up the stairs, Darling. Come on in. No need to knock." I hear and I can't help smiling. I step in the room and she instantly looks up at me. "Jamie drive you here again?" She asks and I just nod.

"Good morning Miss Donna. How was your weekend? Also yes she did drive me again today. Do I reek of fear that badly?" I ask with a laugh.

"Of course you do. Anyone would, riding in that deathtrap." She says and beckons me to sit down next to her. Like I said this isn't like a normal therapy session. We sit on the same couch, we share whatever we feel like sharing, she doesn't ask too many questions, and when the hour is up we part like friends. She may be a professional, but she is far from cold and businesslike, Miss Donna is almost a second mother to me. I used to have a different therapist who I couldn't bond with, the first week out of the relationship was hell for me and a shitty therapist was no help.

By the end of the session Miss Donna and I are just talking about the past month, how much progress I have made, and when we will have the next session. "I will see you two weeks from today. I have a conference in San Juan the next week, then I will be booked the week after, but you have my cell if you ever need to chat okay?" She asks and I can only nod. I know I am not her only patient and being one of the most well known Omega therapist she is really busy. She fits me into her schedule perfectly though and I couldn't thank her enough for it. We say our goodbyes and I am back outside in Jamie's car.

"So how'd it go?" My nosey friend asks.

"She said I need to find a new therapist." I tell her not looking in her eyes.

"You're lying. What did she really say?" She asks, then continues. "If she really did say that you'd smell of sadness not contentment."

I groan a little in disappointment, but tell her everything anyway. "Same as always, Lovely. I am getting better, and I will be back on my feet in no time. She did say she won't fit me in for two weeks, big conference and a busy schedule." She nods as I speak, and from the look on her face I assume she is making a mental note of my next appointment.

At the next stoplight she looks at me seriously. "Are you really getting better Cal? Honest?" She asks.

"I feel better, Jamie I really do. It's just the nightmares. I know he is gone, I know he can't hurt me anymore, and I know no one will let anything happen to me ever again. I know healing takes time, but I honestly feel a little better. Sure I don't feel like I'm on top of the world, but I'm getting there." I say with a smile. "Alpha pheromones still scare me, and I will probably always have anxiety attacks, but I can get through this. I know I can." My response seems to have calmed her a bit and she relaxes in her chair again.

"I promise Calvin I will never let anyone hurt you again. Not Anthony, not anyone." She tells me with a quick kiss to my cheek, and before I can return it we have arrived at the restaurant. "Now let's go inside to Mama Melissa and eat some grub." She laughs.

We reach the table just in time for my mother to stand to welcome us. First a hug to Jamie, then a kiss to my cheek. She still tries not to get too close to me just in case the smell of my father is too overwhelming. However before she can get too far away from me I pull her into a hug. I must get over this, my father is not the enemy. I can't tell you who starts crying first, me, my mother, or Jamie. I can tell you that while they cry of happiness and relief I cry because the smell of Alpha makes me want to cower away from my own mother. 

Jamie senses my fear first and is at my side in a second pulling me away from my mother. "Baby steps, Sweets. That was a strong attempt though, that took strength and I know you can do this." She is holding my face into her neck so I can scent her and calm down. Jamie is an unmated omega like myself so it is easy for me to relax into her embrace. However, I can smell the pain my mother is going through right now and I look up to comfort her.

"Mama..."

"No baby it’s okay. I know you are trying. To hug you once again has made this the best day of my life, I can only hope that soon in the future you can hug both of your parents without hurting. He sends his love and he badly wishes he could be here." She responds and motions for us to sit down.

“I miss him too. I don't want to be scared of my own father, and I don't want to force him onto scent suppressants just because I can't handle being close to an alpha anymore. I want to hug my family again. I hate… I hate being so scared.” I say and it takes some of the weight off my shoulders. “I know I can get through this, Dad has never done anything but loved me, and I know from therapy that not all Alphas are bad. Miss Donna's alpha is who helped her start all of her therapy. We talk about how most alphas truly cherish their omegas, and I know they do I've seen it plenty of times. I promise Mama I'm trying. Tell Dad I am trying, please?” I finish, then I realize I didn't cry this time, and I can't help but smile a little.

“I will. I will tell him I promise. We miss you so much, Cal. I'm so happy to see you getting better. I don't know what I would've done if I lost you.” My mother says, and reaches across the table to hold my hand, it takes almost no effort for me now to take her hand in mine.

Lunch is over before we know it and, after saying goodbye to my mother, Jamie and I make it back to my house. Usually on days like today we would order dinner in, watch some movies, and fall asleep together on the couch. Tonight however Jamie leaves to go pick up some groceries for my apartment and we cook dinner on my rarely used stove, and spend the rest of the night talking about the future.

"Cal, do you think in the future you will look for another Alpha?" Jamie asks.

"I need to try. I can't go through life fearing them. I can't give up just because I gave my all to someone who didn't truly love me." I answer, and cuddle into her side.

We make it to my bed later somehow and curl up next to each other. "I promise you will be happy in the future. You have to be." I hear her whisper, and I am asleep before I can think of a response.


End file.
